Are You a Loyalty Club Member? Press Y/N.

It is -14 °F at 5:00 a.m. and I am pumping gas at the Quicki-Mart.

Out on the highway, cars sputter by on the highway dragging long tails of condensation.

I hope to join them soon but before I go anywhere, the pump has a few questions.

“Are you a loyalty club member… Y/N?”

I try to recall if my wife signed us up but I can’t focus. It is cold and the pop music blasting from the canopy overhead makes concentration impossible.

If I answer yes, the pump will demand that I document my loyalty by producing a plastic card. If I do nothing, hopefully it will move on.

The pumps sulks for a few moments before repeating the question.

“Are you a loyalty club member… Y/N?”

I press the “NO” button.

Now it wants to know if I want a car wash. The wash is closed because the doors are frozen…