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I feel a little foolish posting this, but what the hell…. I just hit 500 subscribers. In the grand scheme of things, I realize it’s not a big number. It is certainly not close to others’. I can imagine those of you out there with thousands laughing. It’s OK. I would, too, in a paternal, chuckly sort of way.

“Hey, kid. Way to go. Maybe someday you can run with the big dogs when you grow up and learn how the pros blog.”

It’s a nice round number, though. I like round numbers. With two zeroes. And it is just big enough to feel like it matters a little.

I started this blog in January of 2014, not really knowing what to do. I was coming to the end of a career, and dealing with some of life’s other bad jokes. I needed to get some things off my chest.

What an interesting two years it has been. This blog has been a life-saver for me in many ways, particularly after the stroke in April of ’14. My right hand was partially paralyzed for a time, and I was terrified that I would never be able to type again. I asked my wife to bring the laptop to the ICU as soon as they took my clothes away and put me in those stupid little neon green footies with the non-skid strips. (I was glad for those the first time I tried to walk to the bathroom. My right leg belonged to someone else, and refused to do what I told it for a time.)

I forced myself to type…a lot of stuff… that whole first night. Thank God I still had my mind (what there was to start with) and speech and general well-being. I still have no idea now what I wrote, despite more or less constant interruptions by the nurses. It’s no fun trying to work with all of those monitor wires stuck everywhere, and the IV. But they knew it was important therapy, and left me to it. Maybe it was the time I growled at a nurse the first time one of them suggested I put the laptop away? I may have been high on something. I can’t be held responsible.

I slept. I woke and wrote. I slept. I ate (it was pretty good; hospital food isn’t always disgusting) I got poked and prodded and otherwise abused. And slept. Then wrote some more. By two days after the stroke, when I was home, I could tell the motor control in my hand and fingers, and all the muscle memory of a lifetime at a keyboard was coming back online. Enough. It was enough. Thank God, it was enough.

I wanted to post this to say that it all is important because I had found you, and earned your indulgence at my words one post and follow at a time. I’m grateful for your attention and occasional appreciations; your encouragement and generosity in giving me a feeling that what I had to say, no matter how confused it was at times, was worth something. To someone.

Thank you. 500 times. 🙂

Doug aka Hemmingplay

 

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