I Don’t Know


I wondered one recent day…what do I know, really know?

And had to admit: not much. Less every day.

That’s the kind of thing you wonder when you’ve had a drink at the end of a long week, when you don’t know if you have friends you can count on.

Then when the lights dim and the worm turns, the doubt creeps in:

Has it all been worth it?

So I had that drink. And then a few more. As you’d imagine, it wasn’t easy to do, writing this all down. The letters go all blurry at times.

But. I was clever, see.

I decided to come at it the other way ’round and do the easy list first.

  • I don’t know whether I’m the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
  • I don’t know how the color red smells.
  • I don’t know if Neverland ever was, and never, ever will.
  • I still don’t know why Justin Bieber is popular. At all.
  • I don’t know how to use ‘who’ or ‘whom’ most of the time (if anyone still cares).
  • I don’t know what anything really feels like to another. (Can’t. No one can. And that’s a damned shame.)
  • I don’t know what a Russian is going to do any day, but particularly in Ukraine.
  • I don’t usually know when I’m lying to myself, let alone you.
  • I don’t know if Oswald acted alone.
  • And I don’t know how they get the fizz in a can of soda.

 

I do know one thing: Mama Cass didn’t choke on a ham sandwich, or die from a drug overdose.

So that’s something, at least. Not a lot, but something.

What’s on your list?

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11 Replies to “I Don’t Know”

  1. Wait – Mama Cass didn’t choke on a sandwich or vomit from an OD? By the way, The mob was behind Oswald and LBJ and others knew but THAT couldn’t come out then. It’s barely out now. Who knows. Here’s one, Do you know who you love and are you included in that list? : )

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  2. If I had a few vodka paralyzers’ sitting in front of me, at my beckon call I’d get back to you on my list. Another time, perhaps. 🙂 I enjoyed reading your list.

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        1. Hmmmm. “yummy”… I’m not sure that’s the word I’d use. I just had to get past the first few sips until my tongue when numb, and then it was better. Maybe the Scotch wasn’t the best. Also, I found it was better just to start sitting on the floor, as that reduced injuries later. 🙂

          The hangover will make you want to die, though.

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          1. Oh no, I’d probably like paralyzers better, than. They go down smooth and I can drink a lot of them and never have a hangover. I’m glad you reduced injuries by sitting on the floor though. That’s always good. Drink fruit juice the sugar will burn the alcohol out of your system faster.

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          2. I’m showing my age, but my first reaction was that was a little too girly. (Sounds good, to be honest) But then, I like Pina Coladas, so I’m a fossil hypocrite. I have a nephew who worked as an intelligence officer for the Marines in Afghanistan. Two tours. He walked up into tribal areas alone, dressed as a native and with only a sidearm, and negotiated with warlords. That takes some serious, industrial strength balls. He’s also 6’5 and doesn’t blend in all that well over there.

            But he told me, and his wife confirms, that when they go out for dinner, he’ll order any drink on the menu that comes with a little paper umbrella or the like. And then he waits to see if anyone says anything to him.

            OK. Did I forget to say that he’s a little nuts, too? 🙂

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