- MIKE STEEDEN -

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Random Woman: “You’re that Confucius bloke aren’t you?”

Confucius: “Might be luv, what’s it to you?”

Random Woman: “I’m your biggest fan that’s what. I hang on your every saying. That one that goes, ‘Confucius says, ‘ Before you embark on a journey of revenge, dig two graves,’ has always done it for me and I lived my entire life adhering to the spirit of your masterful gem, ‘What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.’ So can you give me one today?”

Confucius: “Don’t know about that luv; I mean if you really want to I suppose I might feel inclined to slip you one.”

Random Woman: “Oh you are a very ribald man aren’t you? No I didn’t mean any of that malarkey. I meant a saying. A proper ‘Confucius says’ one. Anyway maybe you could knock…

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